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A complaint is not only an attack on our professional expertise, but also on our personal identity. It is difficult for the healthcare professional to retain the duty of care, whereas the patient is free to file a complaint. This can lead to an overly defensive position. Usually a complaint leads to feelings of guilt and shame. Shame about who you are when you are complaint-worthy and guilt because you are accused of having done wrong. A healthy way of dealing with a complaint is to take it seriously, but to experience the additional